May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
