I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
