I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
