We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
