I have demons in me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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