I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
