ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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