ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
