I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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