ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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