Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
