is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
