I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
COCAINE IS GR8
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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