So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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