I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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