Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
