I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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