The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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