you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
