She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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