sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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