I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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