2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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