a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Your cock deserves a montage
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
