I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
