oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
