And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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