shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he was CRYING into my vagina
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
