I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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