Do vagina's smell?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
