Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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