i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
