I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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