hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
