Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
