Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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