Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
