I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
