Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Are my feet made of real feet?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
