Small penises have feelings too.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
