I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
