Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
