Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
