How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
