I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
