The maid of honor just puked.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
