She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
