She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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