dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
