I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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