he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
